This is my first atempt to blog about my mundane life on earth. My mom died suddenly on September 13th of this year. I miss her more every day and especially this week. My mom's birthday is the 26th and this year that is Thanksgiving. It was always so cool for her birthday to be on Thanksgiving. Our entire family would go to our house because it was the biggest and everyone loved Aunt Dot. SHe would get presents and cards from everyone! I hope she always felt as much love as everyone felt for her. I use to have these panic attacks at night when I would get up to pee. Something about bathrooms always gave my this sence of dread and death. I use to get the most horrible cold shiver and think of the blackness and emptyness that will come with death. I would truly have an absolute panic attack. Ever sence my mom died I have not had even one. I think that because she died, I know that it will be alright when I die. That I will be with her or at least that if she can go throught whatever we go through at death, then I can do it too. I am no longer afraid or panicked about what will come in death.
My life is half over and there are so many things I still want to experience, to accomplish and I just don't know where to start. My brain whirls at full speed when I try to sleep at night, but if I don't sleep then I'm late for my daily boring grind of a no paying job. I do not hate my job, I just wish it paid more often. I am burnt out.
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